Blurred Line

I've just sent out the last of the rejection notices for stories submitted in April and I thought I'd take a few moments to reflect on some of the bad story ideas that keep coming up.

Intelligent Young Scientist: Look! I've just created this amazing new device. Of course, I'll have to test it on myself to make sure it works.
Lab Assistant (generally an attractive woman who hooks up with scientist later on): But it's so dangerous! You could die!
Intelligent Young Scientist: That's a risk I'm willing to take.
[Much turning of knobs and dials. Interesting light shows begin to originate from machine. Scientist bravely risks his life and enters contraption]

My reaction: Oh no, that brave young scientist! He might perish! What will the world do without it's brave young scientists?!?! Oh, wait. This is the very beginning of the story. I don't even know this guy. Therefore, I don't even really care what happens to him.

Narrator: Let me relate the events that took place in a very matter-of-fact tone. Occasionally, I will make snarky comments so that you know that everything that took place was beyond my control.

My reaction: Because telling the story with characters who might have been in a position to have some form of agency would've really gummed up the works. It might've - gasp - even made it somewhat exciting.

Writer: I just completed my story fifteen minutes ago. Hence all the typos and continuity issues. And standard manuscript format? Screw that - I'll just send you this single spaced .txt document where everything's squashed into one paragraph. But that's alright, because my story is so great, you'd accept it even if I wrote it down on used cocktail napkins, scanned them, and emailed them to you as virus-filled attachments.

My reaction: [Expletive deleted].


Profile Editor. Writer. 9-5er. Lord of the Dance. Blurredline.com Apodis Publishing Fusion Fragment cterrill(at)blurredline.com Buy Goodbye, Darwin Amazon.com Amazon.ca Chapters.ca Barnes&Noble.com Read it free in PDF Format Buy Blurred Line Amazon.com Amazon.ca Chapters.ca Barnes&Noble.com Read it free in PDF Format The Short Stuff "Learning Magic From Mint" - published May 2007 in Atomjack "Between Eternities" - published October 2005 at Speculative.ca "Smoke and Mirrors" - published June 2005 in Byzarium Submissions Log Total Subs: 25 Acceptances: 3 Rejections: 17 Withdrawals: 3 Subs Out: 2 Quality Blogs Scalzi's Whatever Dave's Blogography Bookslut The Struggling Writer SF Signal the0phrastus Paperback Writer Scribe's Writing Desk Nathan Bransford Lyons Literary LLC The World in the Satin Bag Book In The Oven The Word Perhaps We Learned Something... Words, etc. Archives March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 Et Cetera Cavan @ Last.fm Cavan @ LibraryThing Feeds Atom Feed RSS Feed	Friday, May 19, 2006 - Bad Story Ideas I've just sent out the last of the rejection notices for stories submitted in April and I thought I'd take a few moments to reflect on some of the bad story ideas that keep coming up. Intelligent Young Scientist: Look! I've just created this amazing new device. Of course, I'll have to test it on myself to make sure it works. Lab Assistant (generally an attractive woman who hooks up with scientist later on): But it's so dangerous! You could die! Intelligent Young Scientist: That's a risk I'm willing to take. [Much turning of knobs and dials. Interesting light shows begin to originate from machine. Scientist bravely risks his life and enters contraption] My reaction: Oh no, that brave young scientist! He might perish! What will the world do without it's brave young scientists?!?! Oh, wait. This is the very beginning of the story. I don't even know this guy. Therefore, I don't even really care what happens to him. Narrator: Let me relate the events that took place in a very matter-of-fact tone. Occasionally, I will make snarky comments so that you know that everything that took place was beyond my control. My reaction: Because telling the story with characters who might have been in a position to have some form of agency would've really gummed up the works. It might've - gasp - even made it somewhat exciting. Writer: I just completed my story fifteen minutes ago. Hence all the typos and continuity issues. And standard manuscript format? Screw that - I'll just send you this single spaced .txt document where everything's squashed into one paragraph. But that's alright, because my story is so great, you'd accept it even if I wrote it down on used cocktail napkins, scanned them, and emailed them to you as virus-filled attachments. My reaction: [Expletive deleted]. Cavan blogged at 10:58 PM \| 4 comments	Progress Zilch! 0/0 Listening A.J. Croce - "Maybe I'm Amazed" My Music Reading Bright Lights, Big City - Jay McInerney My Library Watching Black Book: B Sweet and Lowdown: C Breakfast on Pluto: B Wishlist Bridge of Sighs - Richard Russo Rachael Yamagata - Elephants...Teeth Sinking Into Heart