Gay Celebrity Love Child

Or, so I've been told. And not by just one crazy person. Apparently, I'm the living, breathing embodiment of both Jude Law and Napoleon Dynamite.

Consequently, I think using the name Dynamite Law is reason enough to start whoring myself out on weekends.

Here's how I figure my real birth parents met...

Jude: I'm so depressed. I just cheated on my really hot fiancee with my housekeeper and now she's broken up with me.
Napoleon: You decroded piece of crap!
Jude: I know. I feel awful. Want a drink? (Hails bartender)
Napoleon: Heck yes!
Jude: What'll you have?
Napoleon: Whatever I feel like I wanna have. Gosh!
Jude: So...umm...I was in that remake of Alfie. Did you see that one?
Napoleon: That was pretty much the worst video ever made.
Jude: Like you could even know that. Besides, I made eight million dollars doing it.
Napoleon: I could make that much money in five seconds!
Jude: Right...well...ummm...(cocks eyebrows, smiles deviously) So, I'm feeling a bit vulnerable and lonely lately. Like to come see my apartment?
Napoleon: (hesitates) So, we're pretty much friends by now, right?
Jude: What? (smiling deviously again) Oh, right, sure, whatever you want, baby.
Napoleon: So, you got my back and everything, right?
Jude: Well, I definitely will.