Writing and Cooking (And How to Give Feedback)

Ahh...plagiarism. Apologies in advance to melly over at All Kinds of Writing, who recently wrote a very interesting post about the feedback we love getting as writers and the stuff that's, well, not so great (be sure to read it - I feel it my duty to at least send her a few visitors so long as I'm stealing from her). Due to the fact that I was at school from 11 AM to 7 PM today (my first day back) - and that, as a result, my brain cells are all screaming bloody murder with their last breaths before dying pitiful deaths (really, they're just slumping over, it's pathetic) - I can't come up with my own original blog post, so I'm just going to riff on hers.

I hate cooking. Always did.

I have been, instead, blessed by three amazing things:

• The Microwave (O Wondrous Invention of Inventions!)
• The fact that I live in a major urban center with a wide selection of restaurants.
• The fact that my girlfriend and her mother feel sorry for me and my woefully inadequate diet and, as a result, attempt to funnel impossibly large amounts of food into my mouth at all times. (As you can imagine, I go over there a lot.)

Of course, over the course of time, you're bound to have meals that just don't agree with you. From the microwave, more often than not, it's expected. So, when it spits out a slimy, frozen-in-the-middle but burnt-on-the-outsides dinner for me, I gulp it down with a smile on my face, knowing it at least passes the hunger test. I'll criticize it, of course, but I don't expect a gourmet feast, so I'm never too hard on it. Getting a meal I don't really like from my girlfriend or her mother, though, is a bit more of a delicate matter. I'd never dream of being critical because I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. If a restaurant meal doesn't succeed, though, I'm all righteous outrage and critical to the last.

So, what does this have to do with writing? Well, I've always been of the opinion that writers, when giving feedback, do it in a manner according to whose work it is they're critiquing. For example, the teenager who has just written his first short story and is entirely enthusiastic about it - they're a microwave. Whenever I critique a story over at Fictionpress, largely a site for teen writers, I'm relatively gentle, pointing out one or two of the more glaring errors while highlighting positive aspects. After all, no one wants to scare off a potential writer (though maybe we should - there's enough competition out there already).

The generous girlfriend and her mother - those are friends or acquaintances who are just starting out. After I mentioned (as casually as possible) that I'd published a novel to friends and acquaintances, both those I know in day-to-day life and those I know through the internet, a few who had dabbled in writing started to write in earnest. Of course, they wanted my opinion. And, while some of the stuff they came out with wasn't bad at all, I found it nearly impossible to give any negative feedback.

"Serious" writers (ie. those who have been at it for a while) are restaurants. I give these people full-on critiques. After all, if you're going to make it as a writer, you definitely need to know how to deal with criticism. For the most part, they're pretty good sports about it.

I'm curious, how do you dole out criticism to those of different skill levels?